The longest 37 hours of my life

I can honestly say that Monday - Wednesday afternoon were the scariest hours/days of my life. I now understand how it feels to watch someone you love work so hard and there is nothing that I can do to help.

We knew that this might happen from our visit to the hospital last Friday (08/28/2010). The day began like every other day as I went to work and Taylor got ready for her Doctors appointment. As I was at work I received a text message from Taylor informing me that she was heading to the hospital for a non-stress test. I left work to find her checked into a room in the labor and delivery floor of the hospital. She quickly updated me on how Doctor Grover was concerned that she might have preeclampsia. Little did we know that she did have preeclamsia and that it was severe.

After a full 24-hour urine collection, many blood tests Doctor Grover prescribed strict bed rest for Taylor. Which we strictly followed for one day, because Doctor Grover told us that she would like another non-stress test on Monday (08/30/2010). Well Monday came and I went to work and Taylor tried to relax so that her blood pressure would be lower than it had been previously.

Lets just say that I received a text from Taylor at 3:30pm informing me that she is again at the hospital waiting in one of the Triage rooms, for another room to open up. As we moved into another room and started another 24-hour urine collection, we were told that we would again be spending the night.

7 hours later Doctor Grover informed us that the blood pressure is not reducing and that she will be inducing Taylor, this started the longest 37 hours of my life. Since Taylor was only 35 weeks pregnant she had to be put on Pitocin to help her body to start preparing for labor. They also had to put her on another drug to prevent the side effects of the Pitocin. Lets just say that her body did not like this at all. It took her 30 hours to progress from being 1cm dilated to 4cm dilated. Doctor Grover came in and told Taylor that when she came back if Taylor was not to 5cm dilated that they (the doctors) who have to preform a C-section.

Well when Doctor Grover came back in to the room Taylor progressed from being 4cm dilated to 7 cm dilated, this was definitely a miracle and Doctor Grover was convinced that she would get to be 10cm dilated. Well she did, but as she would contract Skylar's heart beat would drop. At first it would only drop from 120 beats per minute to 90 beats per minute. Then it dropped to below 50 beats per minute. Causing the Doctor's to roll Taylor into the operating room.

Doctor Grover respecting Taylor's request to have the c-section to be the last result decided to have Taylor push a couple of times to see if she could give birth vaginally. After 3 contractions and 9 attempts at pushing they put her asleep and started the c-section.

The next 30 minutes flew by as I watched them pull Skylar from the womb and bring him into the room I was in to clean him off and give him his apgar score. As I watched him being cleaned off I could not stop thinking of the miracle I just witnessed. I witnessed a Doctor listen to her patient until she felt prompted to started surgery. I witnessed another life come from the DNA of my wife and my DNA. And I witnessed nurses work miracles as they took him for not breathing, to Skylar breathing without any assistance.

The past 5 days have been my longest, but they have definitely been the most rewarding. You will never know the feeling of holding your child for the first time until you do it. And you will cherish it for the rest of your life. Or at least I will, and I will continue to reflect on the miracles that brought him here. I will forever be grateful to my Heavenly Father, and for all the work he continually preforms for my wife and sons well being. I would never forget the feeling that I had when I picked him up and listen to his heart beat. Becoming a parent has been one of the best experience of my life.

Accepting the Invitation

I briefly forgot how much I love reading the writing of Nephi. The reason why I briefly forgot is because I am now in Alma with my personal scripture study, and I have not had a reason to go back to the books of Nephi until yesterday.

For those of you who do not know, Sierra my cousin is taking the lessons from the missionaries and has set a date to be baptized. This is very exciting because Sierra has been very outgoing in wanting to learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Sierra is being taught by Elder Cook and his companions, which she is enjoying a lot because the can use Facebook. When I first heard that the missionaries were using Facebook I thought that maybe they were breaking the rules a little bit. Then I stumbled onto an article that informed me that the missionaries in the Rochester New York mission were allowed to use Facebook for missionary work.

I asked Sierra if it helped having the missionaries on Facebook, and her answer was an outstanding yes! She said that it is so much easier to talk to them in private then having to worry about her Grandma, and mom hear her questions and become inquisition on why she is learning more about the L.D.S. faith. Sierra also said that it helped a lot with planning the next appointments at our Grandparent's house because then no one she did not want to know yet would over hear the conversation.

Anyway since the Elder that is teaching my cousin has Facebook I thought that I should befriend him so I can also talk to him and be available if he had any questions or concerns about Sierra. Well lets just say that Elder Cook was thrilled to be my new friend and also invited me to join his group discussion about the Book of Mormon on Facebook. And this ladies and gentlemen is how I stumbled upon reading Nephi's words again.

Elder Cook wanted everyone to read 2 Nephi chapter 26. This is one of my most favorite chapters in 2 Nephi as it shows the unlimited invitations that the Savior gives to us to follow him. I realized that my cousin Sierra was accepting those invitation to follow the Savior, and that she was striving to become a better person/daughter of God. An Epiphany happened as I read this and understood that I needed to follow my cousin's example and follow the Savior to the best of my ability.

This was a great testimony builder for me as I am learning even more now that the Lord knows what is best for all of his children. I have also learned that the Lord does nothing for his children unless it is for their benefit.

My Testimony of the Book of Mormon

Today we had a great lesson in Elders quorum. The lesson was on Elder Holland's talk from the past general conference in October of 2009 titled "Safety for the Soul". The instructor had us read a couple of quotes and then read Elder Holland's testimony. When we were finished reading his testimony I looked at the clock and saw that we still had 25 minutes left.

I then started thinking about what we were going to do for the next 25 minutes, and then my question was answered. The teacher bore his own testimony about the Book of Mormon and then turned the time over to us to be able to bear our testimonies.

As I took the time to think about the Book of Mormon I thought of how much it had blessed my life. From being raised in a family who read the Book of Mormon together, to now having an extended family who is focused on living its principles. As I pondered, I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the blessings that this one book had brought upon me from living it teachings.

I then thought about the peace that I feel in my heart when I read from it at night with Taylor and when I read it by myself. I also thought about the desire I have to be a better husband, priesthood holder, and son of Heavenly Father when I read the Book of Mormon. It has truly blessed my life.

I am so grateful for the examples I have around me of those living its teachings, and who have taught me by example of how I should live and govern my life. I love the Book of Mormon and everything that it teaches and I hope that I can continually progress to be the my best for Heavenly Father, and for my family.

As I concluded pondering about the Book of Mormon I again found my testimony of it. I then realized of how I knew the Book of Mormon was true. There was no voice, no vision, or any other modern miracle, except that I felt the Spirit whisper to my soul and every other fiber of my body that it is true.

Like Elder Holland I was not there when Christ visited the people of Nephi, nor was I at the trail of Abinadi but I know the Book of Mormon is true, and I know that it came from God. I know that "the Book of Mormon will bring men closer to God than any other book." I know that it is given to us today to learn of the things that are most important for us to be able to return to live with Heavenly Father and I am so grateful for this knowledge. I cannot express my level of gratefulness but it is my prayer that I will be able to reflect the examples of those faithful family members and others that I have had in my life. That like them I may also be a faithful child of our Father in Heaven.

The Notebook Recognition lie

For the past couple of nights I have been prayerfully asking Heavenly Father in which ways I can improve my studying for exams. This has lead to a lot of thought the past couple of days on how I can improve. As I was sitting in my humanities classroom about 15 minutes before the class started I was thinking about ways that I can improve my studying. The normal ideas came into my mind, flash cards, reading over lecture notes, meeting with T.A.s, and lecture review sheets. I then tried to think of new ideas that I can improve my studying habits and "break the mold" of traditional studying habits. Then my Professor walked into the classroom.

Just like every class we start out with a review. Instead of jumping right into the review my Professor wanted to bring up an important point when it comes to preparing for the next exam. Her first subject on the matter of studying was "The Notebook Recognition Lie". "The notebook Recognition Lie" is where you do not truly know the material but you can recall where it is in your notes. You notebook could look like this...

but as long as you know where it is on the page you will be able to recall it. This she reminded us is not knowing the martial but just memorizing where it is in our notebooks. When I heard this it reminded me of how I can do this with my scripture, and how I can do it with all my notes and text books, and how she is right that it is not truly knowing the material but knowing how to find it within my notes.

Then came her main point of just using repetition to remember what is taught and the principles that need to be applied. I thought of my mission and how President Ellsworth would always say "Don't fix something if it is not broken!". And there was my answer to the prayer that I have been asking for the past week. "Don't fix something if it is not broken!".

I now understand that learning is nothing more then repetition and applying the things taught into everyday situations. Will it take a lot of repeating, hopefully with only understanding the principle and not applying it. I am grateful thought for how the Lord understands me and is willing to answer my prays to let me know how to become a better son in every aspect of my life.

Some Day I Will...

As I was thinking about what I should post this week, I received the thought that I should skip this week and just post something next week. I then decided to visit the Church's web site and see what was new on there. i did not get very far until something caught my eye and I started to watch the videos that they have posted.
One of the videos caught me off guard about its message and made me think about what I am doing to progress in the gospel. The video is titled "Choose this day" By President Erying, (The video is posted underneath this blog entry). As I watched the video I was pondering about what I am doing to choose to serve the Lord this day. I began to think about the goals that I set after my mission and where I was in accomplishing them. I also thought the same thing concerning my life goals and the goals that Taylor and I have set together. I then came to the conclusion that I need to do as President Erying was teaching and choose this day to accomplish those things that I have committed to.
This experience has lead to a great sense of gratitude for living Prophets. I am so grateful for those men called of God to lead us and help us to know what we should do to return to live with our Father again with our eternal families. I now know that I need to continually be choosing today to serve Heavenly Father and his children. I am grateful for this opportunity and the blessings that it will bring. I am also grateful for the wonderful examples that are around me. Heavenly Father has truly blessed me in many ways and it is time that I showed some gratitude back.

Learning about Charity...

After reading my brother in law's high the other day about developing Christ-like attributes I figured that I should start working on one myself. As I started to think about what one to work on and for how long to work on on an attribute, I was reminded of how President Murri started to focus on a Christ-like attribute for a whole transfer. The goal then became to work on a Christ-like attribute for 6 weeks and focus on finding how others have that attribute while reading my scriptures.
Now for finding the attribute I figured that I might as well start out with the message that most of the brethren were talking about during conference. So I decided to go with Charity or the pure love of Christ.
What I found as I study this attribute of the Savior was the trails and tribulations that were brought upon me. Now I am not bringing this up to complain and portray the feel sorry for Ryan, but to show the opportunity I had to practice this attribute. I found that as I thought of having the love that Heavenly Father has for all of us, I was able to quickly get over the problem and move on to how I might help them.
Now in most of these situations I did not have the opportunity to help them out, but I was able to apply it in my own life to how I interacted with others. I also found how hard it was to apply this attribute in every situation, not saying that I am a punk or a jerk but I am learning that I have much to improve to become like the Savior and our Heavenly Father.
Like I mentioned earlier I am applying this attribute in my life for 6 weeks so I will fill in on how it is going in my progress on this goal. What I do know is that the Lord is helping me to become more like him. I am grateful for the experiences that I am receiving and the opportunities that the Lord is giving me to grow. Through Christ all things are possible and it is through Him that we will return to our Father in heaven. I know this to be true and hope that I can show it to all that I come into contact with this week.

"By small means, great things come to pass..."

As I was sitting in sacrament meeting today a couple of testimonies were borne that caused me to ponder about the small things that happens in our lives. A sister stood and expressed that when she bears her testimony she always feels inadequate as she does not have major stories of faith or any other gospel principle to share. As she said this I had a quote pop into my head from the movie "Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration" it is "By small means. great things come to pass". I then took the rest of fast and testimony meeting thinking about some examples of small acts that bring great results. I was able to think of three topics in which this principle is true. One being small acts of choice, second faith, and third obedience.

As I thought about how small choices affect our lives I had a thought of one of President Monson's talks in general conference concerning a fence hing, he said in his opening remarks that "It has been said that the gate of history turns on small hinges, and so do people’s lives. The choices we make determine our destiny." As I thought about this I thought about my choice about serving a mission. It may not be a big choice to make when you think about your life and how many years you have but the consequences are going to be enormous no matter what your choice is. I now think back about my mission and think of all the great blessings that have come from serving it. One I found my eternal companion which is by far one of the greatest blessings from my mission. Another blessing was the testimony and personal witnesses that I have received concerning the restoration of Christ's church, and seeing daily miracles in my life. My mission has definitely been a small choice in my life that has greatly blessed my life for the eternities to come.

I then thought about the small acts of faith that have greatly blessed certain individuals lives. Most of the examples that I was able to think of have not only greatly blessed those individuals but also us as well. Joseph Smith's humble prayer was through a small act of faith. This small act of faith did not only lead Joseph to learning some precious truths about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, but led to the reorganization of Christ's church again on the earth. I thought about how greatly my life has been affected from this simple action, because of this I have been able to be sealed to my wife and family for all of eternity. I have also been able to learn about the characteristics of my Father in heaven and my savior Jesus Christ, which has truly blessed my life and those that I have come into contact with. Another example of faith that has greatly blessed my life is through the teachings of Alma. A testimony is kindled upon small acts of faith, and it is with that testimony that I have greatly learned how to be a better person and to progress my life closer to what my savior would want for me.

Last but not least is that we are able to see great things come to pass through small acts of obedience. It is through obedience that the Nephites were able to see the face of the resurrected Savior. This is my favorite part of the Book of Mormon as the Lord fulfills his promises that he has made to those that left Jerusalem, and it also is to the world another witness that Jesus is the Christ. Joseph Smith taught that obedience is one of the governing laws of heaven, and it is due to our obedience that we receive any blessings from God. Obedience to God also brings further enlightenment, as it is how we are able to enter the house of the Lord. Little did you or I know that a small phrase in a testimony would lead to a discourse of personal feelings and opinions. What I do know is that God loves us and is looking to bless us in anyway He can, He is also looking for ways to help us reach His children and bring the fullness of the Gospel to them. It is my pray that I may be able to always remember the Lord's plan and help out in Heavenly Father reaching His goal: "To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

Setting Goals...

After reading my sister in law's blog about her goals I have had the impression that I need to do the same thing. Over the last year since I have been home from my mission I must admit my goal setting has not been as consistent as it should be. I was reminded of this during personal study this week as I am going back through "Preach My Gospel". Currently I am studying the section on using time wisely, I thought it would be important to go back over this as school is starting tomorrow and I have working almost full-time. As I was studying the section of setting goals this quote stuck out to me "When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life." ( Elder M. Russel Ballard). So I have determined that goals are something that will help us to become more like our Heavenly Father, and will help us to make the most out of this life.

As I thought about what goals I need to set for this semester of school, I remember a zone conference in which my mission President taught the importance of setting goals. There were a couple of things that he spoke to us that stuck out, but the one that stuck to be the most important to me was when he used the acronym S.M.A.R.T. He pointed out that when we set goals in our lives the have to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time bound. I remember that the time that I study most in high school was right before the test, because I knew that "Judgment Day" was right around the corner. So as I set goals for this semester of school and life I am trying to remember this principle of goal setting and making the most of the life.

My goals for this semester are going to fall under three categories...educational, spiritual, and personal. I have thought this over and think that these categories will cover all of the areas in my life which I feel like that I need to progress in.

Personal:
1). Run at least 6 miles a week. I feel that if I do this I may be able to drop off the pounds that I have gained from being married, and also take better care of my body.
2). Walk with my wife every night. I have made this a goal as I know that this will increase our time with each other and help us to keep communicating with each other about the things that are going on in our lives at that moment in time. An added benefit to this is that we both enjoy it very much, and love spending time with each other.

Spiritual:
1). Daily scripture study and prayer. I have realized how important it is to keep this a priority in my life, as the blessings that come from it are vital in my life. I also have found that if I put Heavenly Father first my studies and personal life improve.
2). Attend the temple every week with my wife. I love the spirit that is in the temple, along with the chance that I get to be in the house of the Lord. I personally feel that this is the best date that you can have with your spouse.

Educational:
1). Carry a 4.0 this semester! I know that this is probably going to be one of the toughest goals that I am setting this semester but it is needed. I feel that in order to accomplish this goal I need to cut media down to almost nothing, so I am only allowing myself one hour of television a week, and one outing. That outing of course during the fall is going to be BYU football games!
2). Complete all the readings and homework the day before class, so that I will be able to review the material that the professor is teaching and not be hearing it for the first time.

These are my goals for this semester and of course they are S.M.A.R.T. I know that the principle of setting a goal is not easy but it is important. I also know that I can do all things if I remember the Lord, and put my mind to it.

The House of The Lord

While I was waiting for the dedication of the Oquirrh Mountain Temple, some thoughts came to me of the First Temple dedication that I attended. A little over 9 years ago I witnessed the dedication of the Palmyra Temple, at that time I was only a youth I did not know the lasting impact that it would have on me. Now as I think about it I did not know that while I was there listening to President Hinckley dedicate the sacred building, and that one day I would take out my own endowments there and then be sealed to my spouse for all eternity within that Temple.

As I though about those memories I became extremely grateful for the example that I have had from my parents and grandparents. I can remember being taken out of school with my siblings Jennifer, Elisabeth, and Adam to watch angel Moroni be placed on top of the Temple. I remember my father during the open house showing us the mirrors in the sealing room and explaining to each of us the meaning of being together forever. I can remember on the day of the dedication my father taking us to the Stake Center early so that we could prepare for the special occasion that was going to be happening. As I thought about these memories, I realized something that I have never realized before, but the importance of being an example.

I then thought of the example that Christ set for me, and where I stood in following His example. I thought about how the Temple helps us with that, teaching us the characteristics of Godliness. It was then that I became extremely grateful for the righteous examples that I have all around me.

"The temple is a house of God, a place of love and beauty..." I love The House of The Lord, and the special spirit that is there that brings peace into my life. I encourage everyone to make special time in which you can go there and feel that same spirit. For the Temple is not just for the endowed Latter-Day Saint, but for everyone. President Hunter stated " In the Lord's own words he has made the Temple the center of every LDS home." Great blessings will attend us as we serve in the house of the Lord, and maybe the greatest blessing we will see in our lives will be the example that we set for our children and future generations.

Where ever thou art...Act thy part

As I read the email that my mother in law sent me this morning I can not help but to think of the actions that I should be doing to help my family and myself in progressing Spiritually and Temporally. The email contained a commitment, and also a document concerning those Saint's involved in the Huan's Mill Massacre. The commitment was to learn how we could apply the teachings of the article to our lives through prayer.

The article gives an important insight to how some of the Saint's acted to leaving their proprieties and heading to Far West Missouri, as their dwelling in Missouri started to become more hostile. The Prophet Joseph asked all the Saint's to gather in Far West but was confronted by some of the Saint's who wanted to stay at their homes with their property. Jacob Huan was one of those wishing to stay, he came up and argued with the Prophet on the manner of staying at Independence Missouri. Joseph told Brother Huan that he could decide for himself, but that if Brother Huan wanted to save his life that he should always do as he was commanded by the Lord.

I have been thinking about how I can do my part in the things that I am commanded. There are many commandments that we as Latter-Day Saints need to remember and follow, some as simple as reading the scriptures, praying daily, and going to church. Other commandments being a little more complicated as we may not see the blessing in following that council.

The article went on to teach the importance of following our living Prophets, and Apostles along with those of the past. I started to think about what I am doing to follow them, and how am I not following them in my life. Food storage is one of those that I found I can improve on. My wife and I are now buying an additional 6 cans for food storage every time we go shopping. This might not seem like a big thing to do but it helps with the motto "Where ever thou art...Act thy part".

What more can we do to "Act our part"? I encourage all who read this, even though there may not be a lot of you to find what things in your life you can do to become a more dedicated servant of Jesus Christ. We might find big things and also small things that we can change to correct the path that we are following. I also encourage all of us to keep an Eternal perspective on our lives. To go and serve your fellow Brothers and Sisters, and also share with them the simple truths of the Fullness of the Gospel. Great blessing lay in our path as we seek to follow the council of our Father in heaven, and His servants that He has given to us today.

It is my prayer that all of us throughout the entire world may grow closer in our relationships that we may preserver peace and establish the Lord's kingdom. I know that the Lord will bless us in special ways as we pursue this cause and that the Lord will help us accomplish the things that He Lord has commanded. And finally that all of us may act our part...wherever we are in the world today.

Article concerning Huan's mill...http://www.scribd.com/doc/4019837/Modern-Day-Repeat-of-Hauns-Mill

"Small means.."

I have always been impressed with how things in life can fall upon timing, and how such mall circumstance can create either the most blessed or dreaded consequences. As I was reading the other night in the Book of Mormon I came upon a scripture in 1 Nephi 16: 29, and just the last part of it took on a whole different meaning to me.
"...by small means the Lord can bring about great things". I was thinking about this and not only can the Lord bring about great things, but if we make those poor choice in our lives out of greed, pride, and any other selfish matter we will bring upon ourselves horrible things. Nephi was guided to a spot in the mountains to kill food for his family by a small act of faith. That is the secret, small acts of faith in the Savior Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father.
We will change our own lives and do great things if we only make the small correct decisions, and exercise small amounts of Faith. We are the only ones in control of our life, and it does not matter what actions other people might do towards us. They can not change our lives or our alter our eternal salvation.
I have learned that God can only work those small miracles if we are willing to put ourselves in those correct situations and make the correct decision. Faith, hope, and charity will take us far in this life and help us to become who we want to be. Then will we witness those "great things" in our life happen one at a time.

Hope, Faith, and Love...

So so excited for the things that have been happening recently! As Taylor and I are working towards the date of May 30Th for our wedding, along with moving to Utah to be able to finish school. Things are just seeming to fly by...and with the birth of Samuel, and being able to see him has indeed made me want to become a father. But please do no tell this to Taylor as I do not know how that would be able to work out until a little farther into the future.
Overall this has made me think a little more about life, and how important it is to work hard while we are here. Maybe that is right now in school, and saving money for more important things. But also just progressing in things that mean more in life, and mainly the Gospel.
After reading last night I have learned that it is important to focus on the things that will one make me a better person, and two helping me focus more on family needs and not being selfish. Hope, faith, and love will be the way that I know I will be able to do those things. I am hoping that this will take me to be one of good works towards my brothers and sisters, and propel me towards giving more meaningful service.